Bruins fans, why, oh why do you continue to patronize this team? The feeling dawned on me just after they announced the return from their labour (Canadian sp) dispute. The Bruins spearheaded the call for fiscal responsibility, most notably with a hard salary cap. They promised fans that they were in the best possible position to win the Stanley Cup (note they didn’t promise a Cup, but that they would be positioned for a Cup).
And then the lackluster free agency. Oh boy! Brian Leetch! Wasn’t he Rookie of the Year? Why yes he was! In 1988. What else? He was a Norris Trophy winner in 1996! That’s ten years ago. Wait, wait, wait. Zhamnov! Oh boy, we’re cookin’ now!
Here’s where they lost me. They sold me optimism and I wound up with gobshite. Again. They seriously can sell it over there, can’t they?
So I just sort of stopped paying attention to this team. And they have really done nothing since to pique my interest. The
Not that I should really be speaking about hockey. Hell, I was shocked to hear the news about Mario Lemieux the other day. Not because of his irregular heartbeat, but that he was still playing! Isn’t he an owner of the team or something?
Anyway, the Christmas bug has bitten POTF right on the bottom, and here are a few stocking stuffer suggestions;
Here’s one that has Partridge novelty gift all over it;
It’s a plastic reindeer that poops brown and black jellybeans! Sure to endear you to the father or mother in law!
And for the child or teenager that has ambitions of being an office drone;
“Also includes a job title sticker sheet so you can create a convoluted and meaningless position for your employee.”
Seriously, don’t we all have those feelings at least once a day? If any of you need any gift ideas for POTF, the break room (set #5) looks like fun.
For a seriously cool magazine;
It’s Vice Magazine! I don’t remember where or how I got the idea to subscribe to this thing, and I think I ordered the subscription about three months ago. Having totally forgot I ordered it, the first issue came yesterday! Truly interesting and goofy writing styles (about ½ of those traits can be applied to POTF). This months issue featured dozens of columns under the spending time with /at/ being themes. POTF’s favorites included the column where one writer spent 12 hours riding on a city bus (sample: “The drunk wobbles down the aisle and back, mumbles, ‘Mumble, mumble, take a shit, mumble.’ He picks his ear.”), as well as the column where a woman spent three days pretending to be a stalker (sample: “I kept telling him we were made for each other and that I wasn’t able to take a shower since his scent was all over my body. He yelled at me, told me to leave again, and I ran into the house and hid under the covers in his bed, crying at top volume.) I really don’t know why I laughed at this, but the delivery was pretty hilarious.
So shall we breakdown the current scenario is Shakey’s? It looks pretty bleak for the Dykes. They must win, the Rockets must lose, and the Dykes must outscore the Rockets by more than 45 points. It is not an impossible situation for the Dykes, who have scored over 150 points 4 times this season. And the Rockets have scored under 100 points twice. Here’s a scenario; What about a tie?! What’s the next criterion? The two have split their season series. POTF suggests a pankration match, the forgotten ancient Olympic sport that combined wrestling and boxing and upon which ultimate fighting is now based;
On to the (relevant) picks!
Dykes Over Missiles
The Missiles have some difficult match ups this week, having to start a thumby Ben Roethlisberger against the teeth of the Bears D. Or Charlie Frye? God, at this point it really doesn’t matter. The Dykes’ Shaun Alexander and Lamont Jordan should have some beastly totals. But will they be enough to overcome the points lead?
Quick Stat of the year
Total Defensive TD’s scored by the Missiles this year – ZERO.
Bears (+6) over Steelers
It is likely that the Bears won’t give up more than 6 points, and would have to be shut-out by the Steelers.
Note – Last week’s pick of the USC – UCLA under was a true botch job by POTF. The over/ under was 73.5, the total wound up being 85! That’s the equivalent of over 12 touchdowns, or a TD every 5 minutes! POTF forgot that the clock stopped on first downs. The Foil was foiled!
Much ado has been made about the relative impact of points against as it relates to record. POTF has used it as an excuse himself to explain away a shoddy performance at year end. But let’s take a quick statistical approach by using correlation. To the stat deficient, correlation is a way of measuring two variables independence from one another in a linear manner. A correlation of one means there is a direct positive impact of one variable on another. A correlation of zero means that the events are totally independent of one another. All correlations are between 1 and 0.
POTF measured Total Wins against Points For in correlation context, as well as Total Losses vs. Points Against. In 2005, the two numbers were the closest they’ve ever been. For Total Wins vs. Points For, the coefficient is .89. For Total Losses vs. Points Against, the coefficient is .81. So Points For has a deeper impact on Total Wins than Points against has in Total Losses. The lesson; Score more points and you will be fine! (Note: in 2004, there was a very large difference in these coefficients. Points For vs. Total Wins was .97, and Points Against vs Total Losses was .59. Again, score more points!)
Time for another pick!
Rockets Over Pants
The Pants are almost finished with their back up QB free agent pick ups. Somebody grab Seneca Wallace quick! While POTF admired the moxie of grabbing Sorgi, a truly hearty thumbs down goes for the pick up of the tastefully named Marques Tuiasosopo, who seriously sucks. Norv Turner is about to shoot his way out of
Quick Stat of the Millenium;
Rockets playoff appearances (not including 2005) – 4
Championships - 0
While POTF generally stays away from such big chalk, the Broncos at home vs. The Ravens is just too good. Not only is the Ravens offense punchless, the Ravens defense apparently stinks as well.